I don't need a Cylon to warn me, Gretchen cannot be trusted. And yes, this is going to be one of those blog posts where I complain about my toddler. This afternoon alone:
-She scattered a box of cereal across the living room floor. And threw in some pretzels just for fun.
-Despite the fact that I keep my chair far, far away from my glass-topped art desk specifically for this reason, she still found a way to climb onto my desk and open the pen drawer. You know, the pen drawer that I moved to the top of my art desk to keep her out of it. Then she found a black permanent marker and colored her leg. And her arm. And her hand (so she can say "Bye Bye!" and show off her ink. She showed me.) And the sweet little B&W photo of Ella & Gretchen I have hanging at my desk. They now both have blacked in eyes and gaping black mouths. It's a little "Black-Hole-Sun". Awesome.
-While I was making dinner she did the classic "MOMMA MOMMA MOMMA" whine-cry/step-on-my-feet-while-simultaneously-pushing-me-from-the-counter for approx 10 minutes. I thought I bought her happiness with a few slices of cheese, but then realized she snuck one of the chocolate cupcakes we made for tomorrow's Harvest Festival & smushed it into the carpet in front of the TV. After that was cleaned up, I found the cupcake wrapper chewed into a lovely little turd-shaped curl that she left next to the water filter. Aw, thanks Gretch!
-Apparently full of stolen chocolate cupcakes, she then proceeded to grab handfuls of her dinner and rub them into her shirt. When her dinner was confiscated, she took her sippee cup & shook it onto the dinner table. Then she splashed her fists in it. Then she laughed. Then she cried because I took her milk away too. Then Auntie Krista showed up and took pity on her. Then Gretchen LICKED HER FACE. Auntie Krista didn't have much pity for her after that.
-She brought me another chunk of hair that she'd removed from her sister's head.
-She is now in bed.
What am I going to do with this kid? Anyone? Anyone?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Hmmm, buy her off more often with chocolate chips instead of cheese? You could always see if there is a circus passing through town, let them borrow her for a couple of years...Just kidding. I've kept that as an option in the back of my, just in case.
I believe that her twin is at my house.This sounds like a day in the life of Diego. Hmmmmm. Good luck with this, if you come up with something good pleeease let me know.
Well, I too am having issues with a rambunctious toddler, who makes messes everywhere. This is particularly annoying when I'm trying to clean or organize or fold things. When she sees me doing these things it sends a signal to her brain to take her cup and empty the water in the toilet out onto the bathroom floor, or some other fun activity like that. But I refuse to live with a lock on my toilet seat! I'm wondering if it's really that bad to tie them to something maybe? We could market these cute little leashes you tie to a secure post in your house. Leopard print ones, polka dot ones, they'd be so cute! Then give them something to play with like a puzzle or something indestructible, or something you're not too attached to. Is it really that inhumane? I don't care if society doesn't accept it, I'm doin' it! Oh and how is she with grocery shopping. I have officially given up on shopping all together, she is a nightmare!!
Post a Comment