Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Dentist Incident

We had some excitement this week when we babysat Ella's BFF while her mom & husband went on vacation. For four whole days. (Why yes, I AM crazy and take on more than I can handle on a regular basis, why do you ask? See also: Kindergarten yearbook, my volunteer work, the "Pioneer" dress I'm attempting to sew for Trek, plus all my freelance work, etc.) So where was I, oh yes, babysitting. The first day was....not great. We'll call her Starling. Starling is an only child (so far) and is NOT used to sharing with small children. Gretchen is two and is NOT used to sharing either. That was fun. I made both Gretchen AND Starling cry. It wasn't on purpose. But we had a "Come To Jesus" talk. It worked. By the time Thursday rolled around, I was totally handling three kids. (And by "Totally Handling", I mean I was only pulling my hair out every hour instead of every 15 minutes.)

Remember how Ella's teeth were coming in? And how her baby teeth were still firmly in place? And how my phobia of tooth loss prevented me from "twisting" them (as per the Dentist's instructions)? And how every time Colby got near her with "twisting intent" she would scream so loud that the ceiling shook? Yeah, we took her to the Dentist to get them pulled. Bribery didn't work.

This is how it went:

1. Ella threw a HUGE MESSY FIT in the parking lot. I literally had to drag her across the street to the dentist's office. I'm pretty sure the Grown Up Dentists office called the Childrens Dentist office & tipped them off. They had a "Screamer". Oh yes, they did. And Starling kept saying, "Why is she screaming like that, it's hurting my ears." You know, cause OF COURSE I took an extra child on this errand.
2. We finally got Ella in a "Procedure Chair" and sufficiently threatened/bribed/drugged, (kudos to the Dental Hygienist. She totally rocked.) Dental Hygenist Lady was able to wiggle out one of the teeth once Ella was sedated. Starling was mesmerized.

Starling - What's all that red stuff?
Dental Hygienist - Don't worry about it, it's just red stuff. (She totally lied!)
Me - Do you want to sit outside the room, Starling? There's a movie you can watch, you don't have to sit in here.
Starling - No, I want to stay in here with you. That's not just red stuff, it's blood.
Dental Hygienist - Don't worry, sweetie. Why don't you go sit down.
Starling - I don't feel so good.

At this point, Starling is literally as pale as Edward. Her lips have a blue tint. And she faints. SHE FREAKIN' FAINTED!!! Luckily I was right there & caught her. Then I rocked her while she came to and THREW UP. Oh my gosh. This poor child. The Hygienist ran to get the Dentist. I assured them that Starling had no pre-existing conditions (except apparently a HUGE AVERSION TO THE SIGHT OF BLOOD.) She had a juice box. While I dealt with Starling, the dentist snuck in and pulled Ella's extra tooth.

She wasted no time. THEY WERE VERY GLAD TO SEE US GO.

What I learned:
-Never take someone else's kid on a "Medical Errand". Just don't.
-Our insurance does not cover tooth extractions. DUDE! SO EXPENSIVE!!!
-Next time Ella gets a loose tooth, we're holding her down & taking pliers to it. She can use the $ we've saved on Dental bills to pay for her therapy.

Pre-Extraction. Hi baby teeth!!!


With the Happy Gas. (Ella's reaction to Happy Gas = Very Goofy. She was giggling the whole time Starling was having her incident. She didn't even notice. She was busy watching Dora. When her tooth was yanked, she said, "Ow!" and then giggled some more.)


Good thing she's cute.

1 comment:

Meghan and Tyler said...

Seriously?! I do not envy your week, but I totally envy the stories you get to tell for YEARS!!! That was awesome. Love you guys!!